


Somebody that you used to know

by Kuroba_Nyx



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accidents, Alternate Universe - College/University, Amnesia, Angst, Angst and Feels, Bad Writing, Bullying, Fluff and Angst, Grammar error, Harassment, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Insults, Loss, M/M, Memory Loss, Nightmares, Not Beta Read, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Slurs, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Yamaguchi Tadashi Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25935742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuroba_Nyx/pseuds/Kuroba_Nyx
Summary: Some people come into our life, stay and turn into something more, something more to us. Others come and leave, leaving us hurt with nothing but memories as we grow apart and we become something less to each other, we become strangers.And sometimes, they never meant to hurt nor leave us yet they still do.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 86
Collections: Haikyuu character x character stories





	Somebody that you used to know

**Author's Note:**

> This is a college au, things that have been said here may or may not be inaccurate.  
> Viewer's discretion is advised.
> 
> Tsukkiyama college AU.  
> Apologies in advance for the bad story.
> 
> Chapter two is not a continuation but an explanation for what happened in the end, proceed with caution.

The snow dances carelessly as the wind carries it, making small patterns in the sky. Yamaguchi felt the cold air and shivered, he continued walking as he entered the building.

People were hustling and bustling throughout the mall as they were buying last-minute presents for their loved ones. He walked into the bookstore, went towards the fiction section, and picked up a book that he was particularly looking for. He was lucky as well, it seems that this was the only stock left and it's in good condition as well.

As Yamaguchi was walking towards the checkout line, he heard a guy ask the store's assistant.

"Do you have any stocks left of the book..."

"I'm sorry sir, we all ran out. The last one was on the shelf, and if that was gone then we're all sold out of that book in this store"

Yamaguchi's eyes widen as the book that the guy mentioned, is the exact book that Yamaguchi was holding.

"It's alright Nii-chan, we can just buy the book next time when they have it"

A bored tone was etched into the second person's voice, presumably, he's with the first person. The two guys lined up right behind Yamaguchi as they continued talking and out of his curiosity and to confirm his hunch, he turned around.

"Akiteru-san?"

"Tadashi?"

The two said simultaneously, surprised. The sound of his brother talking to a familiar voice made Kei paused his music and looked up from his phone. His hazel-painted eyes locking with Yamaguchi's amber-colored ones.

"..."

Neither of the two young adults knew what to say to each other.

"It's been a long time since I've talked to you, Tadashi! How's college?"

Akiteru broke the ice between the three of them as they moved forward in the line.

"College's good, how about you Akiteru-san? How's life?"

"If you really want to know, you'll come and get some coffee with me and Kei!"

Akiteru replied with an "innocent" smile.

"Have you considered that he might need to do something else after this, Nii-chan?"

Tsukki countered and as much as Yamaguchi wanted to decline since it might be awkward despite that, he chose to accept Akiteru's offer so he won't come off as rude and the fact that he actually didn't have anything to do after buying the book, and the three went to the cafe next door to the bookstore after they paid for the items they bought.

As Akiteru started to tell Yamaguchi how life's been going for him, Kei excused himself to the bathroom mid-story. The moment Kei left, Akiteru's jubilant expression dropped, Yamaguchi noticed it immediately.

"Are you alright, Akiteru-san?"

"Yeah, I'm alright...I don't think you should be asking _me_ that question."

Yamaguchi knew what that meant and he didn't know what to reply.

"..."

"Is...Is Kei-kun alright?"

Yamaguchi rephrased his question after a few seconds of silence.

"I...I honestly don't know. He said he's alright but I _know_ that he isn't"

The older brother answered honestly.

"I'm sorry Akiteru-san, I don't know how I can help. I haven't talked to him in a few years...I haven't talked to him...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

ever since he cut me off..."

Akiteru was surprised to hear this. He just thought that Yamaguchi and Kei got too busy in college which caused them to drift apart and stopped spending time together.

"Why did he cut you off? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I understand"

Akiteru asked kindly, reassuring the younger boy that he doesn't need to answer if he doesn't want to.

"I don't know. He just stopped talking to me after our first sem in college. I didn't see him in uni that often since his classes are on the other side of the campus"

Yamaguchi took a shaky breath as he continued.

"Then he blocked my number and avoided me altogether. I tried to talk to him in person but he's always _busy_...so I just thought that he just didn't want to be my friend anymore and I gave up trying to talk to him."

"Oh..."

He didn't know what to say to console the green-haired boy because he didn't get the full picture. He doesn't have his little brother's side of the story. But he had an idea, that will hopefully get them to somewhat spend time with each other.

"So you read that book as well?"

Akiteru said out of the blue.

"Huh?"

Yamaguchi gave him a questioning look but quickly caught on as he saw Kei walking over in his peripheral vision.

"Yeah, I read the book before but I borrowed it and had to give it back before I was able to finish it"

Yamaguchi chuckled as he scratched the back of his neck.

"So I bought my copy of the book"

He finished, letting out a tiny smile.

"Kei actually owned a copy as well!"

Akiteru felt his little brother staring daggers at him as he said that and he cleared his throat.

"Hmm...I'm feeling up for dessert, do you guys want anything, my treat?"

Akiteru offered with a toothy grin.

"No, no. That's okay Akiteru-san. You already paid for the coffee, I can pay-"

"I'll have strawberry shortcake. You should just accept his offer, if you don't, he'll persuade you to accept it, Yamaguchi"

Kei interrupted and Yamaguchi felt something that he couldn't quite explain as he heard his name come out of the blonde's mouth after all these years. Nostalgia maybe? He just pushed that feeling aside for now and agreed.

"Ok then, Tsukki...shima-san. I'll have a chocolate glazed donut please"

Yamaguchi decided to not call him by that nickname as it was too soon, and the fact that Kei never did really like being called Tsukki anyway. There was a subtle frown on Kei's face as his friend, well former friend said this but his frown quickly subdued into a neutral expression.

"I'll be right back!"

Akiteru said as he stood up and went back in line at the counter, leaving the two college students alone together.

"Akiteru-san said that you owned a copy of the book, is that why you wanted to buy a new one?" 

Yamaguchi asked, shifting awkwardly in his seat as he waits for the blonde's response.

"Yeah, I guess..."

Kei trailed off.

"What happened to your old copy?"

Yamaguchi didn't know if he saw the younger Tsukishima flinch or if he was just hallucinating, he just thought that it was the latter.

"Gone."

Kei answered vaguely and Yamaguchi knew not to push it any further, so he didn't. Akiteru got back after a few minutes and noticed that Yamaguchi and Kei were just doing their own thing and he sighed internally at his failed first attempt.

"The desserts will be here in a few minutes. Say, Tadashi, what's your course again?"

Akiteru asked, taking a sip of his cappuccino while doing so.

"I've taken a course on electronics actually, the one where you fix stuff"

Yamaguchi explained it as simple as he can, not really wanting to go in debt about it.

"That's great! Then you won't have to call a repairman when things break, smart"

While Yamaguchi and Akiteru were chatting, Akiteru's phone rang and he grimaced as he talked to the person on the phone.

"Sorry guys, an officemate called me and said we have an emergency meeting. You guys just finish the desserts I ordered, bye!"

Akiteru quickly stood up and grabbed his coat, walking out of the cafe in a hurry. After a few minutes of silence, the waiter came with their orders. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima ate in silence until Yamaguchi thought of an idea.

"You know...If you want, I can lend you the book when I'm done reading it, if you want to borrow it?"

Yamaguchi suggested, feeling slightly guilty for buying the last copy.

"Oh, ok. If that's fine with you?"

Tsukishima awkwardly shrugged while taking a bite out of the shortcake he ordered.

"Have you studied for finals?"

Yamaguchi decided to divert the topic into something that seems less awkward as they both are students after all.

"Still am. I can't study that well since it's always noisy in the dorms. People partying here, making out there, loud music blasting through the air, and people just keep making a lot of ruckus on normal days"

Tsukishima pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation.

"Makes me wonder how can you study with all that ruckus, Yamaguchi"

"I don't actually live at the dorms. My parents bought me a house here in Tokyo so I can live here after college. It's just a half an hour walk from Uni and a fifteen-minute walk from here"

Yamaguchi clarified and Tsukishima was surprised.

"Oh...I thought you live in the dorms as well. That explains why I never actually see you around the dorms that often"

"Yeah..."

The tension was still there in the air and for some reason, the two couldn't keep a conversation going.

"Actually, do you know any places where there aren't a lot of people after school?"

Tsukishima asked as the two of them were exiting the cafe.

"Like a secret spot or something?"

Yamaguchi answered and Tsukishima nodded.

"Not really. I usually go home after classes and maybe stop by the cafe near it but that's about it. Since I'm the only one living in my house, it's actually pretty peaceful, even the neighbors are quiet which is nice for studying and sleeping"

"Must be nice to have quiet neighbors"

Tsukishima sighed.

"Well...You can come over and study at my place if you want to? I don't mind having a visitor every once and a while"

Yamaguchi suggested and Tsukishima felt wary of his offer. It's not because he doesn't trust Yamaguchi, in fact, it should be the other way around. Yet Yamaguchi's the one offering to use his house as a study place for the blonde boy. Tsukishima didn't want to bother Yamaguchi, not ever since he cut him off and not even giving him a reason why he did so.

"No thanks. I don't want to bother you. This is my problem after all." Was what he replied to Yamaguchi. He did want to but he just thought that it was for the best to maintain distance.

"That's pathetic of you to say instead of just saying that you don't want to be around me."

Yamaguchi retorted to the blonde and took a sip of coffee that he wasn't able to finish back at the cafe right after he did so, a calm yet cold tone was laced in the green-haired boy's voice. Tsukishima's eyes widened as he heard the shorter boy's response.

"It's not like that-"

_Lies_

"It is. People don't just leave my life and cut me off without a reason, _Tsukki_. When they do, that usually means either something's wrong with them...or something's wrong with _me_."

He interrupted Tsukishima as he let out a sigh. Tsukishima had nothing to counter his words considering he does have a reason why he did that to Yamaguchi but never told him that reason.

"Look, my offer still stands if you want to take it. I'm not forcing you to. Just...just think about it, please."

Yamaguchi rephrased dejectedly and the next thing they knew, they were outside the mall yet they were still walking in the same direction.

"ok"

Was the only thing Tsukishima could answer at that moment.

The walk back to where ever both of them were staying was silent. It brought back memories of them doing the exact same thing in high school, the only difference was, there wasn't any tension nor that much distance back in high school. Yamaguchi wanted to try and reconcile with Tsukishima in any way he can but he doesn't know how since even he doesn't get the full picture yet, of why he was suddenly deserted by the person he considered as a best friend.

"This is my stop. See you around"

Yamaguchi gave a small wave as he turned around and walked towards his house's door, unlocked it, and entered his house. Tsukishima waved back and watch Yamaguchi enter his house before walking off.

Tsukishima opened the main door to the dorms and was greeted by a bucket of water to the head.

"How irritating."

He sighed, shivering a bit because he was just out in the snow.

"What? Can't handle a little splash of water?" A guy said as the rest of his friends snicker listening to the conversation while doing their own thing.

Tsukishima rolled his eyes and headed for the elevator, not giving a damn if he's dripping like a wet mop.

_It's not like this is the first time anyway._

He gritted his teeth as he tried to the best of his capability to wipe his glasses dry while the elevator goes up.

* * *

While trying to shake off that unknown feeling in his chest and pain from his headache, Yamaguchi heard a notification pop up from his phone. Akiteru had texted him.

**(Akiteru-san: Hey Tadashi! What did you guys do after I left?)**

_Nothing really_

He thought as he replied to the older Tsukishima.

**(Tadashi: We just finished the desserts, left the mall together right after. We ended up walking the same route until I got to my house.)**

**Akiteru-san is typing...**

Yamaguchi waited for a minute or two as he saw those words.

**(Akiteru-san: Oh, I was hoping you two would spend the rest of the afternoon together.)**

_I wish we would too._

**(Tadashi: I'll try to talk to him again. He said that he'll borrow my copy of the book. Hopefully, I will get him to open up.)**

Yamaguchi really does hope he can get Tsukishima to open up so that he could help him and that this won't just be lip service to Akiteru.

**(Akiteru-san: That's great! Update me if something happens!)**

**(Tadashi: I will)**

Yamaguchi sighed as he turned off his phone.

_I hope I could get him to tell me what's wrong._

* * *

The final bell rang, Yamaguchi closed the book he was reading and fixed his things. He finally got to the end of the book that he bought the other day.

He couldn't shake off the feeling of being followed, maybe he's just paranoid since the hallway's crowded but he really couldn't shake that feeling off. Hastily putting his other books in the locker, Yamaguchi froze as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you alright?"

Yamaguchi's shoulders lost its tension and slacked down as he recognized the person's voice.

"I'm alright"

The freckled boy replied, closing his locker and turning around.

"But what are you doing in this part of campus, Tsukishima?"

They both felt uncomfortable as Yamaguchi referred to him by his surname but the blonde can't really blame him for doing so.

"I'm actually looking for you. I tried calling out your name a while ago but you didn't hear me...You can call me Tsukki if you still want to."

Tsuksihima explained and Yamaguchi's surprised to hear this but he remained calm on the outside.

"Oh...Why were you looking for me?"

Yamaguchi may have an idea why but he didn't want to jump into conclusions and get his hopes up only to be let down in the end so he just feigned ignorance in a sense.

"About your offer...I'll accept it."

The way Tsukishima was fiddling with his fingers while speaking was unsettling for Yamaguchi, Tsukishima was never uncomfortable nor awkward with him back then. It was as if their roles have been reversed and Tsukishima was in Yamaguchi's shoes when he was asking for favors even if neither of them really minded aiding each other in times of need.

"Then when are you coming over?"

Yamaguchi let out a small grin as he thought that this could be the first step into getting their friendship back on the rails and hopefully, help Tsukishima as well.

"Tomorrow? If you don't have anything to do after class."

"Tomorrow it is then, I'm gonna need your number so we can talk about where we could meet up instead of us looking for each other throughout the whole campus."

Yamaguchi replied while he brought his phone out of his pocket and opened it.

"...Do you still have the same number?"

Tsukishima's tone was enough for Yamaguchi to realize how tense the blonde was when he asked that question. Then Yamaguchi remembered,

_I forgot he blocked my number..._

"I got a new phone and a new number."

Was what Yamaguchi replied, he decided that now was not the time to dwell on the past. After exchanging numbers, the two walked to the campus' exit. Along the way, somebody bumped into Tsukishima's shoulder.

"Watch it."

The guy chided while glaring at Tsukishima before turning around and walking off. Tsukishima rolled his eyes before turning around as well.

It looks like the guy bumped into Tsukishima on purpose in Yamaguchi's eyes.

_Maybe you should watch it._

"You alright?"

Yamaguchi said instead of saying what he thought to the guy so that he won't cause a commotion that could get them in trouble.

"Peachy."

Tsukishima replied before stirring the topic into something else and Yamaguchi took notice of this but he lets it go, _for now._

"See you tomorrow, Tsukki"

"You too."

They waved to each other as Yamaguchi leaves campus and Tsukishima waits until Yamaguchi is out of sight and leaves the premises as well.

* * *

As Yamaguchi was walking through the hallway, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He checked it, he got a message from Tsukishima.

**(Tsukishima: I just left my classroom, where should we meet?)**

Yamaguchi's thumbs hover over the screen as he thinks of a reply.

**(Yamaguchi: We could meet at the main entrance?)**

**(Tsukishima: ok)**

With that, Yamaguchi hurried to the meeting point so he won't make the taller boy wait.

* * *

"What subjects are you studying for?"

Yamaguchi settled on that question after minutes of thinking as to what should be his conversation starter due to the fact that Tsukishima chose not to wear his headphones, something that the latter did back then in high school when the two of them used to walk home together.

"Calculus III and stuff"

Tsukishima replied, then trailed off to how boring his professor is, and complained about how his classmates can be a bunch of neanderthals sometimes which made the green-haired boy laugh at the blonde's classification of his fellow students.

Yamaguchi couldn't help but smile while opening the door, knowing that he's getting Tsukishima to communicate with him as he did back in the days.

"Welp, here's my place. It's not much since I didn't buy that much furniture yet."

He stated as they took off their shoes. The house Yamaguchi owns is pretty standard actually. It's the type of house where when you open the front door, you can see the living room, dining room, and kitchen all in one room. It is spacious on the contrary, even if he did buy a lot more house decor or just furniture, the house still has a lot of space.

"You can study at the dining table so you won't have any back problems while reading and writing"

Yamaguchi explained while he led the blonde to the dining table and asked Tsukishima if he wanted anything to eat or drink, Tsukishima replied that he just wanted a glass of water. After getting Tsukishima his water, Yamaguchi sat down on the couch, opened his laptop, and began working on his presentation.

After about ten minutes or so, the freckled boy couldn't help but turn around and see if Tsukishima was still there at the dining table or if the blonde needed anything. He was just focused on reading his notebook with his headphones on and Yamaguchi turned around and got back to typing, he felt his eyes getting heavier by the minute as he was in complete and utter silence and the only thing that could be heard is the sound of his fingers colliding with the keyboard.

* * *

"Yamaguchi"

He heard his name being called out.

_When did I close my eyes?_

"Yamaguchi"

The said boy slowly opened his eyes and felt his heart beating fast, he didn't know why it was beating fast.

"..."

As he fully opened his eyes, he turned to his side and saw Tsukishima looking at him.

 _Shit, I fell asleep_.

"I fell asleep...Wait, it's night already?"

Yamaguchi looked out the window as he asked and indeed saw that it was pitch black outside.

"Yeah...you don't look so good"

Tsukishima answered and Yamaguchi stared at him with a questioning look. The longer he stared at Tsukishima the more he could see the crease between his eyebrows and the glint of worry in the blonde's eyes as he spoke.

"What do you mean by that?"

The latter replied, confused by the former's words.

"You were mumbling in your sleep and you're sweating right now. You kept moving around and almost dropped your laptop."

At the mention of his gadget, Yamaguchi quickly looked around for it and let out a breath he didn't know he held in when he saw the laptop on the coffee table, assuming that his friend was the one that put it there. With the symptoms Tsukishima mentioned, Yamaguchi realized that he had a nightmare but didn't pay much attention to it since it happens quite often, unfortunately.

"Just had a nightmare, I guess. Nothing bad."

Yamaguchi concluded and shook it off, knowing that, that will be a problem later for him. Tsukishima subtly eyed him suspiciously.

"I've lost track of time, I'm going back to the dorms"

Tsukishima said and Yamaguchi stopped him.

"It's already dark out, you should just sleep over here and leave in the morning."

Yamaguchi countered. He gripped the blonde's arm before he was able to walk away.

"I can handle myself, I don't think anyone would attack a 192cm guy in the middle of the night"

He retorted jokingly to the green-haired boy.

"Stay"

Yamaguchi said. It wasn't a plead nor a command it was just one word, nothing more, nothing less. Yet Tsukishima could feel that the word was said genuinely. Despite that feeling, he replied to his former teammate,

"I didn't know I was a dog now"

All he received was a stern look in response. Tsukishima sighed as he reluctantly agreed to stay the night. Yamaguchi smiled and asked Tsukishima if he wanted something heavy or light for dinner. Tsukishima chose the latter since he doesn't have a big appetite either way.

Yamaguchi cooked them some ramen for dinner, which is every college student's go-to food when they're either in a hurry or just plain lazy. While cooking the ramen, he told the blonde that it was unnecessary for him to put his things away since they would be eating on the couch and would be using the coffee table instead.

The two opted to watch a horror movie as they ate dinner. Tsukishima criticizing the main characters for their stupid choices that got them killed in the end and Yamaguchi laughing at Tsukishima's insults to the characters and joining in as well, turning the horror movie into more of a comedy for them.

"Hey Yamaguchi, where can I get the extra blankets?"

The blonde asked Yamaguchi whiled he was doing the dishes as much as to Tsukishima's dismay.

"Why would you need extra blankets?"

Yamaguchi replied.

"Well, I am sleeping on the couch, right?"

Tsukishima said as if he was stating the obvious.

"Bold of you to assume I let my guests sleep on the couch"

Yamaguchi sighed as he put the last plate on the dish rack

"And bold of you to assume I'm sleeping _your_ bed when _I'm_ the one who's being an inconvenience"

The blonde retorted and the two began making reasons why the other should sleep on the bed instead of them. Which brought them to a "compromise" of sorts. They'll both sleep on the bed.

_What have I gotten myself into?_

Yamaguchi thought as his back faced Tsukishima's and he was trying to get some sleep, they both have classes tomorrow. Yamaguchi's last thoughts were how warm his pillow is before he fell asleep. The next morning, he woke up to the sound of his alarm.

It was five in the morning.

He turned and saw that the other side of the bed is empty. Yamaguchi knew that the blonde left at some point since when he woke up, the taller boy's belongings were gone. Surprisingly there was a note on the fridge, he picked it up and read it, it was from Tsukishima.

**Thanks for letting me stay over, there's breakfast in the microwave.**

**-Tsukishima**

Yamaguchi couldn't help but smile as he ate the omelet that the blonde made, it wasn't too salty. He remembered the first time Tsukishima tried to cook in middle school, it was the morning during their sleepover when neither Akiteru nor Tsukishima's mom was awake and Tsukishima cooked their breakfast for them, which was omelet as well. They both ate the slightly saltier than preferred eggs and when his mom found out, the two got sweet treats to balance it out in the end so it all worked out for them.

The green-haired boy chuckled as he reminisced the simpler times.

* * *

It suddenly became a habit for Tsukishima to come over to Yamaguchi's after class, sometimes spending the night and sometimes going back to the dorms early. Yamaguchi felt like things were looking up. The two stopped by a convenience store one weekend because they ran out of snacks, so they headed out to buy some more which ended up being eaten as well. They sat on a hillside near the store that's also near a riverbank as they watch the sun go down which made things warmer in a sense since it was snowing.

Serenity was in the air as the two talked about their high school days, back when they used to hang out on a hillside with the club while others make fools out of themselves-most likely either Kageyama or Hinata-and the rest of the club would laugh at their antics.

"Kei, Tadashi?"

A voice asked out of nowhere and the aforementioned people turned their heads at the unexpected call of their names.

"Ni-chan?"

"Akiteru-san?"

The two said simultaneously.

"What are you doing here, Nii-chan?"

The younger Tsukishima asked, clearly irritated by the sudden intrusion.

"I'm on my break actually. I thought to just head out and buy some pork buns, what about you two. It's cold out here, you know?"

Akiteru replied, seeming unfazed by his brother's behavior.

"We just brought some snacks and the view looks nice, we couldn't help ourselves and we stayed here for a while"

Kei answered his brother's question.

"Actually, I was thinking. What are you doing for the holidays, Tadashi?"

The older Tsukishima asked and the freckled boy looked deep in thought for a second.

"Not much actually. I guess I'm going furniture shopping? Since everything's on sale after all"

Yamaguchi replied casually and Kei was about to say something but his older brother was faster.

"You should spend the holidays with us? Just like the old days!"

Akiteru recommended to the green-haired boy.

"Are you sure you don't mind? I mean, I don't want to intrude-"

"You? Intrude? That's nonsense! You're part of the family after all. Not to mention, mom misses you as well!"

The older blonde didn't let the Yamaguchi finish his sentence before Akiteru began reassuring him

"I'll...I'll think about it"

The green-haired boy answered after a few seconds.

"I'm glad you're giving it some thought! See you guys later!"

Akiteru said his goodbyes as he began walking back to his workplace, leaving Tsukishima and Yamaguchi alone once more.

"So..."

Tsukishima started as they were walking back to Yamaguchi's place, the latter staring at him in anticipation.

"Are you gonna take Ni-chan's offer?"

"Yeah, but I'm gonna need to go buy some furniture tomorrow or sometime next week if I am"

Yamaguchi replied, thinking about where he'll put that on his schedule.

"Why not today? Or specifically, why not now?"

The blonde countered, looking up in the sky, thinking out loud.

"Wait, what?"

The green-haired boy asked in complete and utter confusion.

"Think about it, you're outside now, and the mall's only a few minutes walk from here so instead of tomorrow or some other time, why not now?"

Truthfully, Tsukishima just didn't want to go back to Yamaguchi's place yet since he's going to just study and go back to the dorms right after even if he fully knows that he can stay the night.

With that reasoning, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima went to the mall's furniture and began buying stuff. Tsukishima acting as a guide of sorts on what Yamaguchi needs and the price range of each item.

"Tsukki, no"

"Tsukki, yes"

Yamaguchi and Tsukishima said at the same time as Tsukishima put a dinosaur key holder in the cart.

"You said to buy only what I need!"

The shorter boy chuckled at the taller's eagerness.

"Hey! You do need a key holder!"

The blonde pouted at him and they both laugh.

"Plus, if you don't want to spend money on it, I will. It'll be my housewarming gift for you"

Yamaguchi laughed at his adamancy and bought it in the end with his own money, along with the other small furnishing that they bought. They also decided to go grocery shopping for their snacks and just stuff they need in general. It was night already by the time the two paid for their items at the checkout point. They decided to have dinner at the cafe near the bookstore, the same cafe they went to a few weeks ago.

The next day, Tsukishima said that he can't come to Yamaguchi's place since he had a group project to do. Yamaguchi said that it's alright, he wasn't upset or anything, it's not like the blonde can actually be with him at all times, he knows that. As he was putting up the items that they bought yesterday, he smiled as he picked up the dinosaur key holder that he bought and hung it up on the wall near the door.

_What's this?_

Yamaguchi picked up the item and realized that it belonged to Tsukishima. It was a moon keychain with little stars around it. He decided to give it to the blonde tomorrow.

* * *

The final bell rang as classes ended for the day, Yamaguchi pulled out his phone and texted Tsukishima about the keychain and asked if he's gonna come over today.

**(Yamaguchi: Tsukki, are you coming over today?)**

**sent.**

**(Yamaguchi: Also, you forgot to get your keychain before you left yesterday!)**

**sent.**

It's been ten minutes since Yamaguchi texted Tsukishima and the hazel-eyed boy still hasn't responded to him.

_Maybe he's still doing the group project today as well._

**(Yamaguchi: If you're busy, that's ok. Just answer message me when you're not!)**

**sent.**

* * *

He knew it was a stupid idea but he tried it anyway. Now here he is, in front of Tsukishima's room, knocking on the door.

"Tsukki?"

Yamaguchi's voice echoed in the hallway as he was the only person there, everyone was still out and around campus or outside the campus. Making the most of their free time before their curfew starts. After knocking for a few more minutes, a door opened but it wasn't Tsukishima's.

"It's obvious that the guy's not there, who are you looking for anyway?"

A man with a strong build asked him, the guy was almost the same height as Yamaguchi's. The guy's wearing varsity jacket, _he's part of the baseball club_ Yamaguchi thinks based on the design of the said jacket. The most noticeable things about him were the piercing on his left ear, the shaved part on his eyebrow, and his brown hair with a Caesar haircut.

"I'm looking for my friend, Tsukishima Kei."

Yamaguchi answered, feeling slightly intimidated by the guy but he kept a calm facade on his face. Not letting fear show on his features.

"That guy has a friend? Well, that's a surprise."

The baseball player answered as he looked at Yamaguchi, the latter raising an eyebrow at what the former said.

"Anyway. Sorry dude, haven't heard the guy's door open and shut since yesterday morning. Maybe he just slept somewhere else or you know, slept around, that's not uncommon these days if you know what I mean"

He shrugged and began closing his door.

_Bullshit._

_"Tsukki is not that kind of person."_

Yamaguchi retorted to the guy, his gaze unwavering as he held his ground and defended Tsukishima from the false accusation.

"Ok then, whatever you say dude."

The brown-haired guy replied as he slammed the door on Yamaguchi, clearly irritated.

"Whatever you say dude"

Yamaguchi mumbled in mockery as he slid in the keychain through the space between Tsukishima's door before he left the dorms.

The moment Yamaguchi got home, the first thing he did was sit on the couch, pulled out his phone, and see if Tsukishima has replied or at least seen his messages.

* * *

**(Yamaguchi: Tsukki, are you coming over today?)**

**sent.**

**(Yamaguchi: Also, you forgot to get your keychain before you left yesterday!)**

**sent.**

**(Yamaguchi: If you're busy, that's ok. Just answer message me when you're not!)**

**sent.**

The green-haired boy couldn't help but be concerned about where the blonde is and about his wellbeing in general as he saw that the messages weren't even left on read, not a single one of them was on read.

**6:57 P.M.**

**(Yamaguchi: Hey Tsukki, where are you? I went to the dorms and you weren't there)**

**sent.**

To say that he was just concerned is an understatement as each minute passed felt like hours while he stared at his phone screen, slowly he felt his eyes closed and he fell asleep.

* * *

The sound of his ringtone and the feel of the vibration in his hand woke Yamaguchi up. Remembering about Tsukishima, he quickly opened his messages.

**6:57 P.M.**

**(Yamaguchi: Hey Tsukki, where are you? I went to the dorms and you weren't there)**

**8:39 P.M.**

**(Tsukki: About that, I had a sleepover at my groupmate's house last night. I was also at his house finishing the project a while ago, that explains why I wasn't at the dorms)**

**(Tsukki: Don't worry, I'm fine. Well, more than fine since I wouldn't have to talk to them or be near them again after this project, good grief.)**

Yamaguchi let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding when he read the blonde's reply. Yet he felt skeptical due to the fact that Tsukishima isn't the type to just sleep over in the groupmate's house, especially if the middle blocker said that he was glad that he wouldn't need to talk to them ever again. Or maybe that was just Yamaguchi's heart talking and not his brain.

**(Yamaguchi: It's good to hear that you're alright, Tsukki! Did you see the keychain that I slid under your door a while ago?)**

**Tsukishima is typing...**

As he was waiting for the blonde to reply, Yamaguchi heated some food from the fridge and sat at the dining table.

**(Tsukishima: Yeah, I saw it when I entered my room, thanks.)**

While Yamaguchi was thinking of something to reply to him, something that can keep the conversation going, he saw another message from Tsukishima.

**(Tsukishima: What are you doing right now?)**

**(Yamaguchi: Eating dinner, you?)**

**(Tsukishima: Same)**

**(Yamaguchi: Wanna vc?)**

The green-haired boy asked, feeling a sudden surge of confidence go through him for a second. Before he was able to regret sending and delete the message, the blonde already answered.

**(Tsukishima: Sure.)**

Yamaguchi almost threw his phone as the blonde's picture suddenly popped up on his screen with a green and red telephone under it, Yamaguchi clicked the green telephone to no one's surprise.

**"You know you should eat some real food, right, Tsukki?"**

Yamaguchi said as he caught a glimpse of Tsukishima's "dinner"

**"I'll let you know, cereal is real food. Not to mention, as if the ramen we ate last time wasn't real food"**

The blonde countered in his defense and the two continued talking throughout the night as they did their daily routines before sleeping.

* * *

"Pardon for the intrusion"

"I'm home"

Yamaguchi and Tsukishima said concurrently as they took off their shoes. They just arrived at the Tsukishima household as they were going to spend winter break here with Tsukishima's family.

"Welcome home Kei!"

Tsukishima's mother said, wrapping her arms around him, the son awkwardly wrapped his arms back, affection is not in his forte at all.

"Tadashi! It's nice to see you again!"

The woman gave Yamaguchi a warm welcome hug too, clearly missing the green-haired boy as if he was her son as well. The two put their things in the Tsukishima's room and when they went down the staircase, they were greeted by Akiteru who was sitting on the couch.

"It's nice to see you here, you two!"

Akiteru smiled and addressed how glad he is that Yamaguchi accepted his offer, as the green-haired boy excused himself after a few minutes to get a glass of water. Akiteru pulled something out of his pocket.

"Here."

Akiteru handed his younger brother two strips of paper.

"What's this for?"

Kei asked while he took it into his hands.

"They're tickets for the new amusement park. You and Tadashi should go there together!"

The younger blonde stared at the tickets and thought out loud,

"Why won't you just ask someone else and you go with them instead?"

"Well, the tickets were only given to me from work and you already know that I get motion sickness from the rides sometimes"

Akiteru explained. Kei knew that his brother wouldn't give it a rest until he takes the tickets for sure.

"Alright, when do these need to be used?"

The young adult sighed.

"Tomorrow actually, look at the date on the tickets just to be sure"

The older Tsukishima said which made the younger's eyes widen as he looked at the tickets in detail, indeed, the tickets needed to be used by tomorrow.

"Also, I want you to take pictures with Tadashi in the park's photo booth and on the rides"

Akiteru said casually.

"Why?"

Kei asked, completely befuddled by the request.

"So there's proof that you two actually went to the park and spent time there"

Before the younger blonde could think of a reply, the two turned around as they heard a voice.

"What's that?"

Yamaguchi asked, approaching the two brothers.

"It's-"

"Those are tickets for you and Kei to go to the newly opened amusement park!"

If looks could kill, Akiteru would be six feet under by now by the way his little brother glared at him.

"Oh? I didn't know you like amusement parks, Tsukki."

Yamaguchi stated to the younger blonde.

"We don't have to go if you don't want to"

The green-haired boy added.

"I should be the one saying that."

Kei started.

"I'm helping mom with dinner, you guys can talk about the details while I do so, bye!"

Akiteru gave the two a pat on their backs as he walked into the kitchen, escaping his little brother's wrath.

"So...uhm...Do you wanna go?"

Tsukishima asked, waving the tickets slightly.

"Sure, as long as you're fine with it."

Yamaguchi agreed, the two began planning what time they were going there, Akiteru could be seen in the background as Tsukishima was talking to Yamaguchi. The older blonde was behind his younger brother, just passing by. He smiled at the green-haired boy as he walked into another room, Yamaguchi smiled back.

"Yamaguchi, what are you smiling at?"

Tsukishima asked, turning around to see what his friend is looking at.

"Nothing, just a funny ad on the tv a while ago"

The said boy replied.

* * *

"You two have fun! Come home before dinner time!"

Tsukishima's mom waved them goodbye as they strapped on their boots for they were on their way to the park.

"The park's an hour and a half from here if we walk, we should take a bus"

Yamaguchi suggested as they were walking. The snow falling gently on them. Luckily there wasn't a storm coming anytime soon so they didn't need to worry about getting home early or getting stranded.

The two were waiting at a bus stop before they heard two guys saying that the next bus wouldn't be there till another hour.

"We should just take a cab"

The green-haired boy could feel his face pale at the blonde's idea.

"Sure..."

Tsukishima turned to look at Yamaguchi as he spoke, the blonde was alarmed that his friend looked pale all of a sudden, and most likely not because of the snow.

"You alright?"

The taller asked straightforwardly. He didn't want to make the poor former pinch server suffer from anything when they go on the rides or even on the way to the park.

"Yeah, I'm just not that fond of cabs."

Yamaguchi answered, feeling embarrassed for being unsettled by such a trivial way of transportation.

"...Did something happen?" 

The blonde knew that he was asking a personal question but he wants to know, he didn't know why he wants to know but he needed to find a way to reassure Yamaguchi and he doesn't know how.

"Yeah...I almost got robbed and kidnapped the first time I rode a cab here in Tokyo." 

The freckled boy looked to the ground as he answered, feeling pathetic that he let that one time scar him for life. 

"That won't happen every time, you know?" 

Tsukishima said after a few seconds passed. 

"I know, but what if it does happen again and the guy has a gun this time? Or they put fumes in the ac or, or-" 

"If that does happen when we ride a cab then we'll just outsmart him." 

The blonde cut him off as Tsukishima puts his hand on Yamaguchi's shoulder. 

"That's just one guy or girl and we're two people. We have a number advantage."

The blonde started and before the green-haired boy could refute, he shushed him.

"Even if you were riding a cab alone and that happens, you can just fight back and leave" 

"But what if I can't fight back?" 

Yamaguchi thought out loud and his friend shrugged. 

"You can. Well at least, _I_ know you can I do have faith in your abilities but do you?" 

Those words were right on the spot as Yamaguchi stayed silent and averted his eyes from the blonde's hazel-colored ones. 

"I know you're scared but you're not going alone, you know? I'm with you, and if some shit does happen, we'll just find a way to solve it" 

Tsukishima reassured, trying not to sound cheesy or oversell his words and exaggerate. 

"Ok." 

Yamaguchi breathed out and he could see the blonde smile a little from his peripheral vision. Tsukishima flagged a cab and they went in. The blonde distracting the green-haired boy throughout the whole ride by asking him what should they do first when they get to the park. After they paid the driver, they stepped out of the cab and looked at the entrance sign that was in big bold letters. 

The park's in winter theme and the first thing that came to Yamaguchi's mind was the ice skating on the right. The blonde saw where his friend was looking, he noticed the way that Yamaguchi's eyes lit up like a kid during Christmas. Leading him to the entrance of the rink, they both got their skates on and went in. The ice was was shiny and extra slippery since it was newly "polished". 

Yamaguchi got a hang of the ice quite quickly, he does like to go ice skating after all and has gotten quite the hang of it throughout the years. On the other hand, Tsukishima was trying to imitate the green-haired boy but he almost slipped, making him hang onto the railing even tighter than before. 

"Let me help" 

The blonde shook his head and said that he can handle it as the green-haired boy tried to get Tsukishima's hands off the railing. After a few minutes, Tsukishima got a hang of it-well he thought he did- and skated all the way to the middle, where Yamaguchi is. As he got closer to his friend, he suddenly lost his balance and almost fell but he was able to put his hands on Yamaguchi's shoulders for balance since he was close enough, making the said boy turn around. 

"I thought you got the hang of it, Tsukki?" 

Yamaguchi teased.

"Tsk. shut up, Yamaguchi" 

The aforementioned blonde blushed. 

"Sorry, Tsukki" 

The green-haired boy laughed and helped the blonde get his balance back. After an hour of skating with a few slips and falls that luckily didn't result in any injury, the two began going on the rides. 

"Say cheese" 

Tsukishima pulled out his phone before the ride started and opened his camera. 

"huh?" 

Yamaguchi asked as the camera snapped a photo of them. 

"Nii-chan said he wants proof that we went on the rides" 

Tsukishima showed the just taken photo to Yamaguchi

"Tsukki! Let's take another one! And don't show that to Akiteru-san!" 

"Why? You look fine. Not to mention there are still other rides where you can 'redeem' yourself" 

The blonde replied while making air quotes as he put his phone in his pocket. After a few more rides and pictures, the two roamed around wondering which ride they're going on next. 

While they were walking through the crowd, Tsukishima bumped into a stranger and he apologized. The stranger apologized as well before walking off. Tsukishima saw that he dropped his keys to his dorm on the ground, the newly bought keychain and the snow making it more visible. 

As Tsukishima stood up, he froze as he saw a familiar figure. The person was turning around and Tsukishima spared no second, turning around in an instant and he grabbed Yamaguchi's hand, leading him into the crowd. 

"Why are we going in this direction, Tsukki?" 

The green-haired boy asked, clearly confused as he was suddenly being pulled by the blonde somewhere. 

"The photobooth. I remember Nii-chan saying that he wants a photo of us at the park's photo booth"

Tsukishima was telling the truth in a way. After all, Akiteru did say that he wanted a photo of the two from the photo. Tsukishima is definitely not running away from his problems, nope, not at all. 

As the two entered the booth, Tsukishima let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Which made Yamaguchi look at him in concern. 

"Alright let's get this over with" 

Tsukishima inserted some yen into the coin slot and the countdown began, showing their faces on the screen.

"Come on Tsukki, smile!" 

Yamaguchi teased the blonde and Tsukishima retributed by making his hand into a peace sign and put's it above and behind Yamaguchi's head. Because of the screen that showed them what they look like, Yamaguchi saw this and did the same to the blonde. After some more poses with and without filters, they exited the booth. The photos popped out of the booth's slot. 

There were two strips of photos and they each took one. After that, they went to the park's cafe/restaurant/gift shop, a three in one so that whatever company runs this park can save money. 

As they finished ordering their food, Tsukishima pulled a book out of his bag and inserted his strip of photos in between the pages. 

"You brought that here?" 

Yamaguchi asked. 

"Yeah, I don't want to lose your book after all. And the photos make a great bookmark"

Tsukishima replied. 

Finished with their snack, the two headed out and rode the slightly more extreme rides. It was night time when they rode almost all the rides and visited all the attractions that the park has to offer. The last ride was the Ferris wheel, a great way to end the night with a calm ride. It's a good thing that neither of them is afraid of heights.

The two got in one of the ride's carts and they began going upwards, the ride stopping every few minutes. Yamaguchi knows that this may or may not be the worst time to ask questions, they're both in a place where there's only the two of them where no one else can listen in to their conversation, he takes his chance knowing the outcome can change the way they see each other. 

"Tsukki" 

The green-haired boy said, disrupting the peaceful atmosphere. The aforementioned blonde turned his head, his eyes and ears are all Yamaguchi's at this moment. The smaller boy took a deep breath before asking his question. 

"Where did you really go that night?" 

Yamaguchi asked and Tsukishima was slightly befuddled at his question. 

"What night?" 

The blonde replied and asked as well.

"The night that you didn't come back to the dorms" 

Tsukishima's eyes widen at Yamaguchi's clarification. 

"I know that you don't sleep over other people's houses, Tsukki. Especially with people you don't want to talk to even more so with people you can't tolerate." 

The latter explained, referring to the text the former sent about being glad that he won't need to talk to his groupmates after the project. 

"Anywhere." 

The taller of the two answered after a few minutes of silence. That answer didn't clear anything up for Yamaguchi. 

_Anywhere?_

"Anywhere? What do you mean by anywhere?" 

"Anywhere...Anywhere I can be where I can just- just be undisturbed...Where I can be just- not bothered." 

Tsukishima was having a hard time explaining and Yamaguchi was having an even harder time understanding. 

"This...This happens a lot so don't be alarmed. It's just for a day or two, then I come back" 

"Come back from where?" 

Yamaguchi tried asking for a specific location again. 

"Come back from anywhere I was. I just go where there's not a lot of people, it gives me room to think" 

_To think about what?_

"What if you get lost somewhere?" 

The green-haired boy said instead of voicing out his thought. 

**"It's ok to be lost, as long as you find your way back"**

Yamaguchi's eyes widen in realization as Tsukishima said a quote from the book they read. The same book that blonde borrowed from him. Even if those words were from the book, they felt like they were really his instead. It felt as if he was convinced that even if wherever Tsukishima goes, at the end of the day, he will always come back, from everywhere and anywhere. 

The silence was in the air after Tsukishima spoke, it wasn't a tense kind of silence where the tension's so thick that you can cut it with a knife. It was more of tranquil silence, the kind where words aren't needed to communicate. The two stared at the night sky as the Ferris wheel stops, they were at the very top. Giving them a perfect view. 

The green-haired boy turned to look at the blonde. The moon shine's on Tsukishima, emphasizing his features. He looked like a wistful man, longing something from the unknown, his hazel painted eyes and fair skin glows ever so slightly in the moonlight, making him look like a deity from the above. 

"The moon looks lovely tonight." 

Yamaguchi said, staring into the night sky, Tsukishima looked at him and he looked at the sky after he looked at the former pinch server. 

"The moon does look lovely tonight." 

Tsukishima agreed, staring at the picturesque night sky. 

"And the stars look beautiful as well" 

The blonde added as he glimpsed at the green-haired boy. Their words were direct yet indirect. 

The ride slowly came to life once more, and after a few more rotations, they got off the ride. They checked the time and it was a quarter to seven. The two decided to take a cab home, so they can be there early for dinner. 

As the two entered the home, they were greeted by Tsukishima's mother, telling them that dinner will be ready in a few minutes. The two went to the backyard when Tsukishima's mom said that Akiteru was there. 

When they opened the door to the backyard, they were greeted with snowballs. 

"Nii-chan." 

The younger Tsukishima said, irritated as he got hit on the upper torso and saw Yamaguchi got hit in the face. 

"Yamaguchi, are you alright-" 

"Oh, it's on now!" 

Yamaguchi said as he scooped up some snow and shaped it into a ball. He aimed it at the older Tsukishima and threw it at him, the latter barely dodging it. Kei smirked and grabbed some snow as well, a grin was plastered on his face. The look made his brother shiver and Yamaguchi snicker as they ganged up on Kei's older brother. 

A few minutes later, the boys' mother told them to come in and eat dinner, making their snowball fight come to a halt. 

When dinner finished, the three took turns in the bathroom, taking a bath. 

Yamaguchi went to Kei's bedroom and sat on the bed, he began rereading the book that Tsukishima borrowed from him. 

The bedroom door opened, Yamaguchi's eyes widen as he saw Tsukishima in a towel, exposing his upper half. He stood up and slowly approached him, Tsukishima looked wary as he approached, seeing the look in Yamaguchi's eyes. 

"Where did you get these?" 

The green-haired boy asked, his fingertips hovering over the fading purple and red marks that litter on the blonde's stomach, chest, and right shoulder. 

"I got these from a scuffle a week ago." 

"Oh..." 

Yamaguchi didn't know what to say, he just looked at him worriedly as the blonde put on some pants and a hoodie. 

"I don't get into fights at all. This was just one time, don't worry about it" 

_How can I not worry about it?_

"Ok" 

The green-haired boy sighed and agreed, not pushing it any further. If Tsukishima won't tell him all the details, then he'll get the details himself, put the puzzle pieces together, and find out what's really going on with the blonde. 

He knew that Tsukishima wasn't being completely honest with him. Yamaguchi discreetly looked at Tsukishima's face and hands, seeing no signs of bruises nor wounds on either parts. Which has more probability of being wounded and bruised than his upper torso. That itself just added more evidence something else is at play here. 

Yamaguchi wants to get to the bottom of this. 

No. 

He _needs_ to get to the bottom of this.

"What page are you on?" 

The blonde asked, the two of them getting in bed, and Tsukishima holding the book that Yamaguchi was previously reading. 

"Page 297" 

He answered. moving closer so he can read as well. The taller flipped to that page and began reading it with the shorter boy. An hour later, Tsukishima could feel Yamaguchi's weight on him but the latter refused to sleep. 

"Yamaguchi, go to sleep" 

"No. You're warm and I still want to read" 

Right as he replied, a yawn slipped out of him. 

"That must be why you hugged me in your sleep" 

The blonde teased which made the freckled boy blush, making him look like a certain red fruit that Tsukishima likes on his shortcakes. 

"You look like a strawberry" 

Tsukishima chuckled. 

"Shut up, Tsukki" 

Said strawberry- I mean said boy grabbed a pillow and hit the blocker with it. Tsukishima's face colliding with the soft material. 

"Nice receive" 

Yamaguchi snickered and the blonde grinned, taking off his glasses and getting his pillow as well. From the outside of the younger Tsukishima's room, Akiteru passed by, he got a glass of water and saw that the door to his little brother's room was slightly opened, he took a pick and had to hold himself back from laughing so he won't get caught. 

Akiteru just saw, two college students, who are almost graduating, and in their early twenties, having a pillow fight like a bunch of five-year-olds. Yet he smiled at the same time at the sight of his little brother laughing and smiling as it does not happen often, a reaction that can only be seen scarcely. The older Tsukishima decided to leave them be instead of telling them to sleep already even if it's twelve in th morning.

* * *

"Yachi-san?" 

Yamaguchi asked a girl that looks a lot like their former manager from highschool. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were on the bullet train, on the way back to Tokyo, as the holidays have passed and they only had a few days left till classes start again. 

They decided that Tsukishima should stay over at Yamaguchi's since the dorms were closed and Tsukishima didn't want to travel back to Tokyo a day before classes start so this is their solution to that. 

"Yamaguchi?" 

The said girl turned around and it indeed it was Yachi, their former manager. 

"You spent the holidays back in Miyagi too?" 

Yachi asked. 

"Yeah! Have you been to the new amusement there?" 

The two friends began conversing until they had to get off the train and head to different directions. Tsukishima just waved at Yachi when they got off the train, not saying much. 

In record time, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi arrived back at the latter's place. When they entered the house, Tsukishima was greeted by the key holder that he told the green-haired boy to buy, and he smiled. 

After the two took turns in the bathroom, taking showers. They sat on the couch and decided on which movie to watch. 

"So Tsukki, any ideas?" 

The shorter of the two asked, scrolling through his laptop as he connected it to the tv. 

"Nope. We can just watch the first thing that comes to your mind"

"All the bright places?" 

Yamaguchi replied and Tsukishima chuckled. 

"You must really like that story if you own the book _and_ watch the movie" 

The blonde said and the green-haired boy sat next to him on the couch as the movie started. 

"It's a good story! You're one to talk when you're the one who keeps rereading the book!" 

"Shhhh" 

The blonde shushed him and said that the movie's starting and snickered, making the freckled boy pout. 

Amidst the movie, Yamaguchi thought how ironic it is that they're watching a movie concerning talking about personal problems when they themselves don't talk about their problems. Yet he was stuck, knowing that if he oversteps his boundaries and says the wrong thing, he might lose what he and the blonde currently have, and he might lose Tsukishima again. The only difference is, this time Yamaguchi knows that it's his fault. 

And knowing that he might lose Tsukishima a second time _scares_ him. 

After the movie, the two ate some ramen for dinner while watching some sitcom they found on a random channel.

While Tsukishima went to the bathroom, Yamaguchi headed to his and opened the nightstand's drawer. He pulled out the bottle of pills and opened it, popping one into his mouth. The sound of the toilet flushing made the green-haired boy hurry back downstairs. Yamaguchi headed to the kitchen and got a glass of water. As if on cue, Tsukishima walked over and the two talked after the former finished his water.

As the two were preparing for bed, Yamaguchi was about to leave the bedroom to go to the bathroom when Tsukishima suddenly spoke. 

"Prazosin?" 

The green-haired boy froze as he heard the blonde speak. He turned around and saw Tsukishima holding the bottle of pills in his hands, seeing if he read it correctly. 

"You take sleeping medication?" 

_no no no no this wasn't supposed to happen, he wasn't supposed to know_

"How do _you_ know that's a sleeping medication?"

Yamaguchi asked as well. Answering the blonde's question with a question of his own. 

"One of the people in the dorms left this medication lying around in lobby" 

Tsukishima answered, yet with Yamaguchi knew he was lying. He couldn't fully be sure that the blonde was lying or if he's just being paranoid but by the way that Tsukishima wasn't looking him in the eyes when he answered cast further doubts on whether he was telling the truth. 

"It's for my nightmares." 

Yamaguchi answered. The only way he could gain the blonde's full trust is by telling the truth himself. He knew that there was no point in lying about this. 

"Then why didn't I see you take them in all those times I stayed the night or when you stayed over for the holidays?"

The green-haired boy grabbed the bottle from Tsukishima and put it back in the drawer as the blonde asked the question. 

"I take them while no one's looking" 

Yamaguchi answered as he got in bed and pulled the covers over him, feeling the effects of the pill starting to take place.

"Goodnight, Tsukki" 

"Goodnight" 

The blonde replied as he turned on the lamp and brought out the book, reading it in silence. 

* * *

Yamaguchi woke up to the feeling of being harshly shaken. 

"Yamaguchi."

A voice called out his name. Yamaguchi opened his eyes and felt something in his face. He put his hand on his face, he looked at his hand and saw a liquid on his fingertips. It was his tears.

"Yamaguchi!" 

He just slept, so why is he still tired, and why was he sweating? He asks himself these questions even if he knew the answer. He couldn't remember what the nightmare was about, it was hazy and he knew that that wasn't gonna be the last, it will never be the last, especially for him. Tears fall on the comforter as he tried to calm down, reminding himself that it was just a nightmare. 

"Tadashi" 

A sudden warmth enveloped the former pinch server as he felt the taller's arms wrap around his waist, pulling him closer into an embrace. The green-haired boy trembled in the blonde's hold and the blonde turned the lamp on, providing them some light. 

"Nightmare?" 

Tsukishima asked a few minutes after Yamaguchi's crying and trembling subsided. The latter nodded in response, still in the former's embrace. 

In an attempt to comfort Yamaguchi, he grabbed his glasses and the book that's next to it. He read the book and asked Yamaguchi to read it with him. After half an hour, Tsukishima was in and out of a sleeping haze and he felt a weight on his side. The blonde gently moved the green-haired boy's head to the pillow, making sure to not wake him and put his book and glasses back on the nightstand. Tsukishima might have not known it, but Yamaguchi could feel the blonde's arm around him as they slept. 

* * *

Yamaguchi felt a strange feeling creep up on him as he watched the blonde walk away again. He definitely did not like nor know this feeling.

anxiety? 

dolor? 

worry? 

fear? 

Both of them had resumed their classes and they're both busy. Yamaguchi was understandably upset when Tsukishima kept saying that he's busy and he needs to stay at school longer since he's research material is there. Tho he would never admit that to Tsukishima, not wanting to make the blonde upset for what he considers as a petty thing. 

What's worst is that sometimes, Tsukishima doesn't reply to his messages at all. When he does, it's blunt and curt. Too blunt and curt even for the blonde. 

Sometimes, Yamaguchi would stop by the taller's dorm and enter it with the key he gave him when the blonde's not opening the door. It was like Tsukishima's things weren't even moved nor used, it was like the blonde was rarely there. 

_Where are you, Tsukki?_

Yamaguchi hasn't seen the blonde for a few days, he wasn't at the dorms nor anywhere on campus yet when he asked the people who were in the same course as the blonde, they said that he was attending class. It was as if the blonde was avoiding him. 

Which was exactly what he thinks Tsukishima is doing to him. It felt like he was back at square one. 

* * *

Yamaguchi decided to absent the next day, with an excuse that he's not feeling so well. Which is true since he hasn't been any getting any sleep lately. But the other reason he didn't attend class was to see where Tsukishima is actually going after class. 

The green-haired doesn't want a repeat of what happened five years ago. After everything they went through these past few months, Yamaguchi would be a fool if he just lets it go all to waste. 

He didn't want whatever they have to end like this, that would be too _pathetic._

Yamaguchi's thoughts were interrupted as the final bell rang and students flooded the hallways. The green-haired boy put the hood of his jacket over his head, easily blending in with the crowd. The moment he caught sight of Tsukishima, he started following him. The green-haired boy put his earphones on but not the music and pulled out his phone, making it seem like he wasn't paying attention, which is the exact opposite. 

As Tsukishima left the campus grounds and turned the corner, Yamaguchi stayed behind the corner where Tsukishima turned. The crowd going in the other direction. The crowd disappeared and Yamaguchi heard a familiar voice. 

"What do we have here?" 

A guy's voice echoed through the silent streets and Yamaguchi peaked from where he was standing. It was the same guy who lived next door to Tsukishima's. 

"Oh, it's you again" 

The blonde replied. 

"Haven't learned your lesson with the book, haven't ya, blondy?" 

The brunette grabbed the book that the blonde was holding and flipped its pages. 

"Do you really want one of your books to be burned, _again_?" 

_"What happened to your old copy?"_

_"Gone."_

Yamaguchi thought back to the time when he asked the blonde what happened to his previous copy of the book, the vague answer back then wasn't so vague right now as he heard the brunette's words. 

"Aw, is this your boyfriend?" 

The guy took the strip of photos out of the book and waved it around mockingly. 

"Mind your own business." 

The blonde growled, trying to take back the book and photos but was held back by the guy's friends. 

"Is the giant flamer upset?" 

He cooed in return, grabbing the taller boy's chin and forcing the blonde to look at him. 

"For a tall guy, you sure are weak." 

Yamaguchi clenched his fist in anger as he heard the guys insult Tsukishima. 

"If you were any more of a dick, your friends over here would be trying to suck your head" 

The blonde snickered and the guy punched him in the stomach in retribution. Tsukishima stepped on one of the guys who was holding him's foot and elbowed the other in the stomach, giving the brunette a harsh blow to the face. The "leader" of their group refuted with an even harsher jab to his shoulder and did a cross on the blonde's face. 

As Yamaguchi was about to join the fray himself in a fit of anger, the brunette dropped the things as he looked at the time on his phone. 

"Come on, we have a party to go to, let's just leave the fairy there" 

The leader spouted, his goons dropped Tsukishima on the rough cement and glared at him before turning around and left. 

Yamaguchi decided to continue following Tsukishima, not confronting him yet, wanting to see where the blonde's going. Tsukishima went back to the dorms and it was oddly quiet. The green-haired boy assumes that most of the residents went to the party that bastard was talking about a while ago. 

Knowing that Tsukishima is at the dorms, Yamaguchi ran to the pharmacy nearby campus, bought some ice, and a first aid kit. The latter breathed in and out as the elevator ascended to the former's floor where his dorm is. 

He knocked on the door, once, no one answered, twice, still no response. But Yamaguchi knew better, the sound of soft footsteps from the other side of the door says so otherwise. 

Repeated knocking seemed to do the trick and the door opened. The blonde's annoyed expression turned into shock as he saw the green-haired boy in front of him, holding a bag. Without even pardoning himself, the freckled boy went in, the blonde closed the door and stared at him looking confused. 

"Here" 

Yamaguchi handed him the bag, the blonde opened it and found some ice and a first aid kit. 

"What are these for? I don't need it." 

The taller tried to give it back but the shorter boy refused. 

"That bruise on your face says otherwise."

Yamaguchi retorted and opened the bag, making the blonde apply ice on the patch of purple on his face. Tsukishima sat on his bed as Yamaguchi stared at him, knowing he was gonna say something. 

"You saw, didn't you?" 

The blonde asked, looking down at the floor, averting his gaze from the green-haired boy. 

"I did." 

That reply made the blonde sigh. 

"How pathetic, am I right?" 

Tsukishima belittlingly chuckled, not to Yamaguchi but to himself. 

"It's pathetic alright." 

The green-haired boy paused which made the blonde look at him in anticipation, waiting for him to continue what he was gonna say. 

"It's pathetic that you didn't tell me or anyone about this." 

Yamaguchi started but before the Tsukishima was able to reply he spoke again,

"The book, they were the reason that you wanted to buy another copy. And the fading bruises, they did that too, didn't they? Why didn't you say anything?" 

The green-haired boy analyzed out loud, the disturbed look on Tsukishima's face was enough evidence that his hypothesis was indeed correct. 

"It doesn't matter, we're graduating anyway." 

The blonde answered and Yamaguchi wasn't gonna accept that. That excuse was foolish to the freckled boy. 

"It doesn't matter? You're getting beaten up and it doesn't matter? You could've told me or your brother or anyone so we could help you!" 

"I don't need help. Things are fine, back then and even now" 

Tsukishima answered but the way his hands gripped the bedsheet in frustration and his body language tells Yamaguchi something else. 

"If things were fine even back then, then why did you cut me off?" 

He retorted bitterly. 

The air in the room suddenly got tense, the silence that followed and the lack of reply from the blonde worsened it. 

"It's because of them, right?"

"..."

"I thought you trusted me enough to at least tell me your problems and instead you kicked me out of your life and shut me out completely"

Yamaguchi wasn't mad, he felt betrayed, betrayed that the one person that he could entrust his wellbeing to, didn't trust him enough even after all those years they've spent together even after all those trial and errors it still wasn't enough. _Maybe he himself wasn't enough, and still isn't to this day if it all led to this...this mess that they're currently in._

_It was the calm before the storm_

"It's for the best." 

Tsukishima refuted and Yamaguchi's eyes widen. 

_"What do you mean by that exactly?"_

The blonde could tell that the green-haired boy was upset. 

"I mean-"

"You think that cutting me off was the best for me? The best for you? Did you think that what you did was the best for us, without even asking me about what _I_ thought? What _I_ felt?" 

Yamaguchi rhetorically asked, already knowing the answer. He could see the blonde's brows furrow. 

"I did it for you! I didn't want you to get hurt! You saw what they did to me!" 

Tsukishima angrily retorted, the freckled boy scoffed. 

"You said it yourself, we're stronger together! I want to be there for you like you were for me! Yet you just did what _you_ thought was for the best and I lost you!" 

The green-haired boy shouted. He clenched his fist in frustration. 

"I wanted you to be safe! To be happy! But you couldn't be any of those things if some assholes are beating you up where ever you go! You weren't the only one who lost someone, I lost you too!"

It was clear that things were getting worse but neither side backed down. They both had their walls up and now it all comes crashing down, the two getting a glimpse of each other's hidden misery from the past. 

What they did and didn't do are now coming back to haunt them. 

"You think losing you made me happy?! For _five_ years Tsukki, for five years I wondered what did I do wrong for you to just do that to me! For you to just throw away what we had out the door like yesterday's garbage!"

Both of them were raising their voices, their words heard but not understood.

"And how do you think I felt?! How do you think I felt when I avoided you like the plague because I wanted to protect you! I didn't want you to get caught in the crossfire! You don't understand how I felt when all of this started!" 

The blonde yelled, expressing that those past few years have been hell for him as well. 

"Then make me understand!" 

Yamaguchi shouted, he really did want to understand, that's why he was here in the first place. He shouldn't have let his emotions get all over the place but he couldn't keep in the pain and suffering he felt throughout all these years anymore. 

"Then what? You're gonna tell my brother so you can be done with me?" 

Tsukishima sarcastically chided, his eyes locking with the green-haired boy's. Yamaguchi's eyes widened in realization, the room was silent, the tension was at an all-time high, and the air that surrounded the two became even more suffocating. 

The freckled boy's heart broke right then and there.

"You think that I'm doing this just because your brother told me to?" 

Yamaguchi heard his voice crack, the blonde's words felt like a slap to his face.

"You think I didn't hear the two of you at the cafe that day?" 

The blonde glared at him and this time, the green-haired boy glared back. 

"I didn't do this just for Akiteru-san's sake! I did this for you _and_ myself! I did this because I wanted to fix things! I wanted to mend what _you_ destroyed!" 

Yamaguchi walked towards the blonde and jabbed his pointer finger at the blonde's chest. 

"If you wanted to fix things then why didn't you keep trying all those years ago?!" 

Tsukishima mocked. The blonde knew he was being petty yet anger and disappointment clouded his mind, he didn't even know anymore if he's mad at Yamaguchi or at himself. 

Everything was falling apart. 

" _God,_ Tsukki, are you even hearing yourself right now? Clearly things aren't fine and something's wrong-" 

The green-haired boy wasn't able to finish as the blonde intervened him.

"Oh so now something's wrong with me?!" 

Tsukishima said as he stood up, he looked down on the shorter male, their gazes not faltering. 

"I don't know, is there?! I don't know because you're not telling me anything! I'm here for you! I was always here for you! Yet you're treating me like a stranger and not telling me what's going on, you're being difficult-" 

_"Get out."_

The blonde growled, interrupting the green-haired boy again. 

"What? No!"

Yamaguchi refused to let it end here. _To let it end like this would be too pathetic._

"No? You said that I'm being difficult. If I'm being too difficult for you then get out." 

The blonde grabbed his arm and pulled him, the green-haired boy's attempt to resist was futile. 

_No no no no no it can't end like this- it just- it can't-_

Anger turned into sadness as Yamaguchi panicked. The tears that he forced back down a while ago were coming back up to taunt him. 

"You know that's not my point here!" 

Yamaguchi defended but his reasoning fell on deaf ears. 

"You made your point. You said what you wanted to say! I know that I'm being difficult and you're getting tired of me so _just_ _leave_!" 

Tsukishima's voice cracked mid-sentence as he pushed Yamaguchi out of his room, slamming the door close. 

"Tsukki! Tsukki, open the door!"

Yamaguchi shouted desperately banging on the door, his hand twisting the door handle. He stumbled back a few steps as he heard Tsukishima hit the slab of wood. 

"Just- just stop...please leave" 

He could hear the blonde whimpered brokenly and Yamaguchi's tears fell onto the hallway's carpet, his forehead leaning on the door as his grip on the handle loosened. 

"I'm sorry" 

The green-haired boy whispered, his voice hoarse and choked up, having a hard time speaking and sobbing at the same time. 

By the time he left the dorms, the sun had fully set, it was dark. The streetlamps illuminating the are were the only sources of light that anyone can see. Yamaguchi had his hands in his pocket as he walked home, his hood over his head so his tear-stained face couldn't be seen. 

The moon wasn't out tonight nor was the stars, it was pitch black. The sky was empty, just like what the green-haired boy was feeling as he dragged himself back home. 

Yamaguchi felt that his bed felt colder than ever as he slept alone, the other side of the bed was also empty, leaving a hole in his heart as memories flash of the blonde lying there right next to him. 

* * *

**"The number you dialed is unavailable, please try again later."**

Yamaguchi tried calling again only to be greeted with the same response. It's been a few days since their fight and Yamaguchi wants to apologize in person and just _talk_ to Tsukishima.

He wants to clear things up and say that he's sorry, that the blonde can take his time, that he'll be there for him, he'll be waiting for him, and that he'll never get tired of him. _But how can he know that if he can't hear those words himself?_

The green-haired boy hurriedly walked through the crowd of students as classes have just ended, hoping to catch up to the blonde. He looked into the classroom where Tsukishima has his final class, he wasn't there. Yamaguchi tried to stay calm and think rationally, thinking that the blonde must be in the dorms. 

While he was walking to the dorms, he was thinking of what to say. Yamaguchi knows what he wants to say, he just doesn't know how to say it. Sometimes, words are harder than actions. The green-haired boy reached the dorms and quickly got in the elevator, pressing the button that has the blonde's floor on it. 

Yamaguchi tapped his foot anxiously on the floor as the elevator went up, he was alone in the shaft and he could see his reflection on the glass. Dark circles prominent on his eyes, his freckles weren't his defining feature anymore, it was replaced by the bags under his eyes, his pale skin and his lips that had dry blood on it. 

After what seemed like an eternity, he was finally able to reach the blonde's floor. Yamaguchi walked out the shaft while checking his phone to see if the blonde replied or at least saw his message. Nothing. No replied no seen, nothing. 

The green-haired boy knocked on the door and received no response. He knocked again. 

"Tsukki? It's me...I'm here to talk" 

Yamaguchi said as he continued knocking, no one answered. There wasn't any type of sound coming from the other side, no footsteps, no shuffling, and no sound, nothing again.

"Hey, uhm..." 

The freckled boy whipped his head to the right as he heard a voice right beside him, it was one of Tsukishima's neighbors. The guy had black hair and was wearing a red hoodie, he was slightly tanned and is taller than the green-haired boy.

"Are you looking for the guy that lives there?" 

He asked, pointing to the door Yamaguchi was standing right in front of, Yamaguchi nodded. 

"I haven't heard him come in or out in a few days. Actually, I haven't seen him at all these past few days. You should check on him, good luck" 

The ravenette said as he unlocked his dorm's door and went in, the freckled boy was alone again. 

Yamaguchi reached in his backpack searching for his keys and shoved the extra key that Tsukishima gave him back then into the door's keyhole. Upon entering Tsukishima's dorm room, his eyes widen at the sight. The room's in complete disarray, things all over the floor, the bed was a mess, and so was the blonde's desk, pens and papers scattered all over the surface. 

This caused the green-haired boy to panic, even more so when he realized that the blonde's valuable items and bag weren't in the room. 

Yamaguchi rushed out of the room in dread, running down the building's staircase and out the dorms. He didn't care if all eyes were on him or if there were people looking at him as if he was going insane, then again he _might_ go insane if he doesn't find the blonde. The green-haired boy ran through the whole campus, going to every part of it that's still accessible to students at these hours, the blonde wasn't there, he was nowhere to be found. 

It didn't help ease the green-haired boy's mind when he thought of the next place where the blonde might be. Adrenaline pumping through his veins as he ran to the hillside that's near a rill (-a body of water), praying to whatever god there is out there that he wouldn't find the blonde there, _that he wouldn't find the blonde in the water, drowning_. His breath hitched as he arrived, he looked lost and hopeless, desperation was painted in his face. 

"Tsukki!" 

The green-haired boy called out frantically, hoping for a response, a sound, a gesture acknowledging him, something, _anything_. 

"Tsukki!"

Yamaguchi remembered the day they came here, they bought some snacks from the convenience store nearby, sat on the hillside, watching the sunset on that cold winter day. Their smiles made the atmosphere warm and cozy, the opposite of what the weather was as they talked.

Those moments now brought tears to his eyes as he rushed to the convenience store nearby, going in asking the cashier if they'd seen the blonde, showing them the strip of photos he and the taller took back at the theme park. The cashier hasn't seen him aside from the time the two went there together. The freckled boy thanked the cashier as he left the store.

He tried calling the blonde's phone again, 

**"The number you dialed is unavailable, please try again later."**

Yamaguchi shakily put his phone back in his pocket as he ran, starting to feel exhausted, both physically and emotionally, tears blurring his vision, not really seeing where he's going. He could feel and breathe the cold wind as he ran, his lungs having a hard time taking in the harsh air and his legs hurt.

The only time he ever ran this much was back in high school when he used to play volleyball with Tsukishima. He didn't know how he was still running or where he's running to, all he knew is that he needed to keep moving in the slim chance that he might see the blonde nearby. 

**"It's ok to be lost, as long as you find your way back"**

The green-haired boy wiped the tears running down his face with his jacket's sleeve, it didn't really help much since there were new ones replacing the ones he wiped. The blonde's words echoing through his head as he ran. 

How can they find their way back if they're both lost? 

As Yamaguchi decided where he was heading next, that decision was deemed unnecessary as he saw them. 

"Tsukki!" 

Their heads turn as the green-haired boy yelled the blonde's nickname. 

"It's you again. You here to save your fairy of a boyfriend?" 

The guy asked, it was the same guy that Yamaguchi encountered the first time he went to the dorms to check up on Tsukishima, and it was the same guy that punched the blonde a few days back. 

The brunette was holding Tsukishima up by his collar, the blonde's feet were off the ground. 

"What's your problem?! Let him go!" 

Yamaguchi tried to run straight into the guy but was stopped by the guy's friends. In all honesty, Tsukishima looked worst for wear, he was just hanging there, he's taller than the guy yet he just let the brunette do that to him. His eyes looked empty and almost lifeless, it was as if he just gave up, and the sight of the blonde's state scares Yamaguchi as he tries to get free from their hold.

"This wouldn't have happened if you did what I told you to do, you know? You could've been one of us!" 

The brunette spat to the blonde as he dropped Tsukishima on the sidewalk, the latter coughing as he took big intakes of air. 

"Why the hell would I want to be like you? You're pathetic." 

The blonde retorted angrily as he got on his feet, the brunette was pissed at the blonde's response and punched him, Tsukishima returned it as well. The two men were throwing hands at each other, one of the people who were holding Yamaguchi let go of him to help the brunette. This gave Yamaguchi the opportunity to break free from the other guy's hold, elbowing him in the chin, sending the guy stumbling and falling to the ground. 

"You little-" 

The brunette wasn't able to finish his sentence as Tsukishima punched him strong in the face, leaving a mark. Yamaguchi struggled as he fought with the guy's friend, he was never the type of person to throw a punch yet with how hard he hit the man, his knuckles started bruising.

The green-haired boy's eyes grew in shock as the brunette used all of his strength and threw Tsukishima on the road. A vehicle was approaching, overspeeding, and the blonde knew this. Yamaguchi ran towards the blonde but felt a cramp in his left leg. 

It was as if things happened in slow motion.

Tsukishima saw that the vehicle was coming, he slowly stood up, clearly in pain, the blonde didn't make an attempt to move as he knew it was too late...or maybe he didn't want to move. The blonde's eyes widen in horror as he turned his head and saw the green-haired boy running towards him. 

Yamaguchi was too late. 

The car was too close when he tried to push the blonde away. Tsukishima used himself as a shield and wrapped his body around Yamaguchi's, the car collided with the two, Tsukishima's head hitting the windshield leaving cracks on the glass, the impact sending them a few feet in the air before landing on the cold ground. The blonde lost hold of the green-haired boy as their bodies rolled on the concrete, painting it red.

Yamaguchi felt his body ache from all over as black spots clouded his vision as he saw the blonde a few inches away from him, blood can be seen pouring out from his head. 

"T-Tsukki?" 

The green-haired boy asked. Everything felt cold and distant, the blonde was crawling towards him. 

"Ya-Yamaguchi?" 

The blonde reached him, both of them were lying on the concrete, bleeding out. Tsukishima cupped Yamaguchi's face with his bloody hand. 

"Everything's blurry..."

Yamaguchi whispered, he lied on his back, seeing the baby blue sky filled with clouds, he could feel the pain from the impact. 

"Yamaguchi..."

Tsukishima's voice got more distant to Yamaguchi's ears as the blonde spoke even if they're next to each other.

"Yamaguchi!" 

"Tsukki..."

The green-haired boy trailed off. 

"Tadashi stay with me please!"

Yamaguchi used the last of his strength to cup the blonde's face and wiped a tear on his face. 

"..."

If Tsukishima was the last thing he ever saw before he closed his eyes for the last time, he would've died a happy man. They were laid close to each other and he faced the blonde, it was like the time Tsukishima slept over and he was the first thing he saw in the morning was the blonde's face. 

"Tadashi!"

"Tadashi..."

"Tadashi..."

* * *

"Tadashi..."

The voice ringing in Yamaguchi's ears. 

"Tadashi!" 

Yamaguchi opened his eyes and saw that the blonde, lying right beside him. _Like he always was_. 

"Are you alright?" 

The blonde asked, clearly worried for him. Yamaguchi stayed quiet for a few seconds and the former waited in anticipation. 

"I'm fine, Tsukki" 

The green-haired boy gave a small smile in return. 

They both got up from their respective sides on the bed, Yamaguchi felt like he stepped on little pebbles. He looked down and saw his pills on the floor, remembering he spilled and scattered them the night before. 

"I told you to clean it up before you went to bed" 

Tsukishima scolds him as he walks out of the room and Yamaguchi chuckles. 

"Sorry, Tsukki"

He apologized scratching the back of his neck, remembering to clean that up later. Yamaguchi decided to make breakfast for them, all of a sudden, the doorbell rang. 

"Seriously?" 

Tsukishima groaned and Yamaguchi laughs at the blonde's reaction while saying, 

"Don't worry Tsukki! I'll get it!"

Yamaguchi walked towards the door and opens it fully, he was surprised to see _him_. When their eyes locked, the freckled boy couldn't see any signs of recognition from him. 

"Hey..." 

The blonde greeted as he searched in his bag and pulled out an item, it was a book, _the book_. 

"Nii-chan told me that I borrowed this from you" 

He said, handed Yamaguchi the book. 

"oh, thanks"

Yamaguchi said as he received the book, his hand brushing against the blonde's. 

"I like your keyholder. I mean, I do like the design after all, is it weird that I said that?" 

He stated as he looked at the said item. 

_Of course you like it, you picked it after all..._

"No, not at all"

Yamaguchi answered, the blonde was surprised that he didn't tease him since that's what people usually do if he says something about his interests, making him genuinely surprised.

"I don't mean to be rude but...

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_who were you talking to a while ago_?" 

He asked the green-haired boy, getting a good view of the inside of the house. 

Yamaguchi knew the answer, he always did. Yamaguchi turned around, looking back, now seeing no one, he had a melancholic smile on his face as he turned around and faced the blonde. 

"No one" 

The shorter of the two replied after a few seconds of silence and he received a confused expression from the taller. 

"You see-I-I..." 

He took a shaky breath before he started talking again. 

"I lost someone...that-that someone meant a lot to me, and I guess..." 

Yamaguchi stopped for a moment, looking at the book, the blonde didn't say anything, he was waiting for the green-haired boy to continue. 

"I guess I miss that someone _so much_ that I just keep seeing him where ever I go" 

Yamaguchi finished, running his hand through his hair and had a sad smile on his face, the guy was speechless at his explanation, he felt sympathetic for the freckled boy. 

"I...I'm sorry for your loss...and for asking you that question" 

The blonde apologized, feeling like he crossed the line, asking Yamaguchi an offensive question. 

_No, don't be_

"It's alright...it's a part of life...some things aren't just meant to be" 

Yamaguchi replied, telling the blonde that he had nothing to apologize for. _It was never his fault in the first place._

"I remembered an adage that came from that book" 

The blonde started, pointing at the object that the green-haired boy was holding, he was greeted with a curious look from the freckled boy. 

**"Sometimes things feel true to us even if they’re not."**

He quoted, he doesn't know what Yamaguchi felt as he said that. 

"But that's fine, wounds take time to heal, and if they don't, then that's fine too. Not everything has to go back the way they were for it to be ok"

The blonde finished, Yamaguchi looked surprised at what the blonde said. The former waved goodbye and he walked away, pushing the glasses up the bridge of his nose and putting his hands in his pockets. 

The freckled boy made no attempt to stop him, he just stood there on his porch, watching the blonde walk away. 

Yamaguchi felt that something was in between the pages of the book so he opened it. It was the strip of photos that he and the blonde took back at the park.

He stared at the photos, suddenly, little droplets of water fell on the pages, staining it, and on the photos as Yamaguchi watched the taller leave. The freckled boy's gaze switching back and forth between the photos and the blonde as he silently sobbed, he didn't want the blonde to come back, that would be selfish of him if he did.

A warm breeze passed by, reminding Yamaguchi that the season's changed. The sun was up in the sky with not a single cloud in sight yet Yamaguchi never felt colder in his life as he hanged onto the only thing that could ever remind him of the blonde and what they had.

When the blonde was far enough, he hoped that maybe, just maybe that it was all just a nightmare. _But it wasn't,_ and Yamaguchi knew that it wasn't a nightmare as he solemnly whispered into the air, not seeing the blonde anymore...

_"Now I'm just somebody that you used to know."_


End file.
